When I Find It
I’m on a social media hiatus.
This is not groundbreaking news. I’ve taken them before–you probably have too.
Throughout my time spent on social media(over 10 years), I’ve seen many people step back from their platforms for various reasons: mental health, consumer overwhelm, the need for clarity, to stop the avalanche of bad news weighing them down, the desire to slow down and savor, etc. I am taking a break for all of those reasons…and none of those reasons. I haven’t fully been able to put my finger on my exact motives this time, but I’ll try.
A couple years ago I was talking with a friend. We were discussing social media and her lack of presence there. I’m not sure if I asked her why or if she simply volunteered the sentiment, but she said something I have been chewing on ever since. She said:
“I wondered what I would do with my time if it wasn’t spent looking at my phone?”
Now, again, this might not be a new concept for you. And in a way, it wasn’t for me either. But there was something in the way she phrased this idea that really got under my skin and lodged in my brain. Over and over this question has swam across my vision like an ad that repeats itself while watching a show late at night on Hulu.
What would I do with my time if it wasn’t spent looking at my phone?
Would I sit down and try to pluck at a guitar? A lifelong dream.
Would I watch the birds on my walks instead of instagram stories? Shameful, I know.
Would I finally take a crack at sourdough? I’m going to do it soon, I swear.
Would my house be cleaner? Probably not.
Would I read more? And what authors would I pick up without the influencer telling me what to read?
Would I finally overcome my impostor syndrome and write? This is a good start, I suppose.
Would I discover dormant interests simply through the avenue of boredom and white space in my mind? Watercolors, perhaps.
Would I create just for fun like I did when I was a kid? I think maybe yes.
But the answer is: I don’t know.
So yes, I do want to put away my phone for all the reasons we all already know about…but I am also curious about what I could do with my hands(and soul) without a phone in it.
Is there a more vibrant and rich life being dulled by the scroll scroll scroll.
Is my personality my own entirely? Or is there a part of it being shaped and molded by outrage and the algorithm.
Maybe. Maybe not.
But I’d like to find out sooner rather than later.
I have not decided how long this hiatus will last. One month? Three? Six months? I’m hesitant to give it a hard and fast rule, because by nature I do not respond well to them. Rules are for squares.
I’m just going to take it day by day, week by week, and observe the shifts or insights if any so happen to assert themselves–and just see if the extra time and space leads to anything true or beautiful or holy.
I think I’ll know it when I find it.
I’ll leave you with this poem by John O’Donohue:
“For a New Position”
May your new work excite your heart,
Kindle in your mind a creativity
To journey beyond the old limits
Of all that has become wearisome.
May this work challenge you toward
New frontiers that will emerge
As you begin to approach them,
Calling forth from you the full force
And depth of your undiscovered gifts.
May the work fit the rhythms of your soul,
Enabling you to draw from the invisible
New ideas and a vision that will inspire.
Remember to be kind
To those who work for you,
Endeavor to remain aware
Of the quiet world
That lives behind each face.
Be fair in your expectations,
Compassionate in your criticism.
May you have the grace of encouragement
To awaken the gift in the other’s heart,
Building in them the confidence
To follow the call of the gift.
May you come to know that work
Which emerges from the mind of love
Will have beauty and form
May this new work be worthy
Of the energy of your heart
And the light of your thought.
May your work assume
A proper space in your life;
Instead of owning or using you,
May it challenge and refine you,
Bringing you every day further
Into the wonder of your heart.
